I feel like I'm going crazy. This is long. Don't read if you don't want to. I don't really care.?

You sound like you have bipolar disorder. I am bipolar and had similar problems.. I'm now on medication and my life is 100X better. Just don't give up on therapy and maybe run across your doc. that you think you may be bipolar then they will check you for it. Also you said you see monsters and body parts that is defiantly schizophrenia. Just try to keep busy, hang out with friends, watch t.v, don't just sit around and think about your problems because if you do your problems are gonna seem way worse and just make you extremely upset goo luck.